Back From the Dead

Oops, I was wrong. It's been since OCTOBER. Here I was thinking it had only been three months since I posted. Well, here is where we are: Lying liar who lies-ville. Population, one almost 4 year old.

Everything was going so well.

Even before their parents left, we were doing play doh this morning. It's cold as all get out here today so I figured I would just let them do whatever they wanted, instead of packing them in the car and making them go somewhere. They did play doh for TWO HOURS. It was amazing. Then I bought stuff to make rice krispy treats...PINK ones even. Went fabulously. We played for a bit, everyone was being kind to one another. Angels were singing. We went to the pet store and no one scared the shit out of the fish by knocking hello. What children are these? I made pizza for lunch while they quietly watched 101 Dalmations. I asked Rose what fruit she wanted and she chose apple. We sat down to eat and the girl who can chug a juice box in 20 seconds ignored hers for the very first time. I felt like I was in some alternate universe.

Then. It started. "I don't want the cheese on my pizza." Fine, take it off, but you're not getting a krispy treat. Ok. "I'm going to wait until Phillip takes his nap to eat my apples so he doesn't stop eating his lunch." You're nuts, the boy has eaten every single last bite of apple and had seconds on pizza. Dude's getting TWO krispy treats. "I want to take a nap now." (She hasn't napped in 2 weeks). Are you saying that to get out of eating your apple? "Yes." Cool, then go to time out. A few minutes later, I ask her what she needs to do "I'm sorry for lying about not eating my apples." Thanks, now if you don't want to eat them, just say so, don't (mumbling curse words behind my clenched teeth) lie about it. "Ok, I don't want to eat my apples." Ok, no krispy treat. "Boooo, wahhhhh." Have a good nap.

End scene.

Meanwhile, Phillip is chomping down on his krispy treat and happily acknowledging nap time steadily approaching. Finishes eating, gets carried upstairs, says goodnight. Bliss.

I go to sit down, enjoy a krispy treat and zone out. DING DONG DING DONG. Why....why do you have to ring it twice as I am getting to enjoy my only hour alone in two weeks? WHY!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, right. It's the counter top guy, 45 minutes early. What planet is this guy from? EARLY? Oh well. Here to measure the counter tops. Yes, yes I DO need the mountains of crap cleaned off of them. Grrreat. I'll get right on that.

I'm on my fourth krispy treat.

No on Prop8

I don't live in California, but unfortunately I have family members that do, and they are working on the Yes On 8 campaign. Please, cancel out their vote!!!

Bad Nanny

If it makes you feel any better, I've haven't been updating my "real" blog either.

Let's see....Tidbits.....

- I had to do it. I couldn't handle opening the tupperware cabinet one more day and feeling like an avalanche was coming down on me. I took part of my down time today, during their naps, and got rid of any piece of plastic that did not have a mate. My employers are sweet, great people, but they are beyond disorganized, and I can GUARANTEE you that they will NEVER even notice those 10 bottoms and tops are even missing.

- Today was school pictures, for Rose. So weird to me that preschoolers are getting their portraits done at school. Cheesy "Fall" background, and Phillip was desperate to sit on the prop bridge. We were next in line and he kept saying he wanted to sit on it. The crazy lady who is paid to act like a clown in order to get kids to smile completely ignored every word I said. She pushed the bridge out of the way and made Phillip sit cross legged. He was screaming for me and I'm sure my knee is in half of the shots. All the kid wanted was that damn bridge lady. Not a stupid purple dinosaur he doesn't even know. He finally laid down and started crying and she was all "I'VE GOT BUBBBBBLLLLEEESSSS!!" I kept saying he's done, it's not gonna happen and lord help me, she kept digging in her bag for more tricks. I picked him up and told Rose to get up, and we walked out. At least Rose posed AMAZINGLY for the super cheese "thinker" pose the lady mader her do.

- I went on a short vacation a couple of weeks ago, and because of the aforementioned disorganization, I also got two days off this week. They were flying a Grandma in to town to cover while I was gone, and she bought tickets for the wrong dates. FREE TIME OFF FOR ME!!!

- I've been debating participating in Halloween. My least favorite holiday, I know I'm unAmerican. But, the kids are older now and will get a kick out of it, so I bought some little cat ears and a wire tail. I was going to attempt a Mary Poppins outfit but I wouldn't be able to handle being stuck in it all day. If I find one of those hats she wears, I'll just stick the cat ears on it. Ha.

- I am dreading Winter. It's already getting cool outside and we have been able to play happily, but I don't see it lasting very much longer. I H-A-T-E being cold and to me, cold is anything below 55 degrees farenheight. I know, I'm a big baby.

- Phillip is almost two years old. We recently lived through an accident at the park a month or so ago that forced him to lose pacifier privileges so his tooth could heal. Ever since then he has turned in to The Boy Who Puts EVERYTHING in His Mouth. We were painting one morning, last week, and he kept trying to lick and chew on the paint brush. I kept asking him to stop, which turned in to telling him to stop, which turned in to preparing to take away the paint brush. Just as I sat down next to him to get ready to clean his Jackson Pollock hands off, he stole one last lick of the brush. Made "that" face. The "you're right, this IS disgusting" face. Then, I saw the heave. That wretch of his tiny body preparing to say "SHE WAS RIGHT". Not wanting to wear what was to come, all day, I leaned him over the table and he barfed all over his masterpiece.

Back From Vacation, and a Conversation

Back from Vacation, aka "Walk 20 miles everyday." I actually feel like I worked those five days. At least today is Friday and I only had a nice two day week with the little ones. We went to an art museum for the first time today. I was scared to death of what might happen, but it went beautifully.

We started slow, with the outdoor exhibits. They were able to touch and feel and be a part of the art (though Rose kept asking where the jungle gym was). Next time, we will go INSIDE. Saving that for when it's cold outside. You must use up all of your nice weather credits because Winter is coming and your sanity can only handle so much of your own four walls.

So, nap time ends every single day with me waking them both up promptly at 3pm. It's tough, because I would enjoy a longer break and they would sleep until 4pm if I let them. But, there's that whole bit about following the parents orders AND the fact that the kids would never go to sleep at night if I let them nap naturally. I get Phillip up first, groggy and cuddly. Then we both go in to Rose's room and silently occupy the room while both of them manage to come out of their sleep comas.

Rose sits up faster than normal, this day and starts chattering.

"Nina?" "Yes, Rose?" silent pause......... "Nina?" "Yes, Rose."

"Ummm. I'm trying to..."

Phillip babbbling.

"Nina?" "Yes, Rose?" "Ummm, I'm trying to teach..."

Phillip pretending to read out loud.

"Nina?" "Yes, Rose?" "Ummm, I'm trying to teach Phillip...."

Phillip naming all of the princesses in the book.

"Nina? "Yes, Rose?" "Um, I'm tryinig to teach Phillip to say Snow White."

Phillp says, "No White!!!!!"

I Don't Know How You Do It!!!

Moms, I just don't know how you do it. I work 10 hours a day and get to leave right as the "witching hour" rears it's ugly head. I don't have to get up in the middle of the night. I don't have to do laundry for a girl who changes her clothes 4 times a day. I don't have get up early in the morning. I get paid to hang out at the mall, play at the park, sit and read stacks of books at the library, color, swim, walk and get a million huggys.

But today, I am tired. It's Friday. My tank is running low. I'm planning on taking a nap while Rose and Phillip are napping. I hear the back yard calling our name for our afternoon activity.

We've been going at break neck speed this week. Trying to pack in as much fun and outdoor time as we can, before the weather locks us inside. We've played hard and made messes. We've laughed, screamed, sang and sighed.

I'm going on vacation tomorrow and will be back on the job in a week. R&P's parents are not used to having to entertain the kids for that long. Last winter, I was sick for 3 days and when I came back to work, their Mom almost kissed my feet. She was overwhelmed and admitted that she had trouble keeping up with them. They are older, and faster, now. Should be interesting to hear how it goes, without me.

One Step Further

Too tired for a long post and too shocked for a twitter post.

Lunch Time at Qudoba. Think business guys and college student busy. I'm trying to order for R&P and myself. Trying to carry this tray off food and keep my eye on them and watch out for the wet floors and I'M STARVING. It's been a hectic morning.

Phillip plays this choking game he thinks is funny for some heart attack inducing reason. Rose eats better than I could have hoped. I am starting to feel better. And, there is a pile of used napkins the size of the pyramids on the table. Phillip has eaten his quesadilla bean by bean and chicken chunk at a time.

So, I'm cleaning up and R&P are dancing around, having a grand old time. I look down to see Phillip go to pick up a piece of food off the floor WITH HIS MOUTH. That's right folks, he basically just licked the floor in the middle of a fast food(ish) restaurant.

Do they have antibiotic strips like those breath freshener strips? I need a case, thanks.

Start Now

I have opinions. Strong opinions. And sometimes, I have a hard time keeping them to myself. Especially when it comes to the situation affecting those in my life. I am regularly having to remind myself to count to ten.

Rose was at school this windy, rainy morning, so Phillip and I made an unsurprising trip to the mall play area. These weatherful days are always unpredictable. The slides and such can either be teaming with little ones, or we could have the place all to ourselves. A handful of young ones were enjoying themselves so I let Phillip venture off on his own. Keeping an eye out for moments he may have needed me. But, for the most part, allowing him to socialize and learn how to associate with others his age. He is extremely well behaved and he rarely needs much guiding in his behavior. I play with him from time to time but he really does enjoy doing it "him felf".

In comes Mrs. Ask Ever-So-Nicely. I never get along with these type of Mothers. But, it isn't my place to parent someone else's young* child (except for Rose & Phillp, of course). So, I just sit and watch, and the second child's behavior affects "mine" I remove us from the situation. Today, Mrs. A E-S-N was the mother of a hitter. Ah, a good smack on the face for the sin of being on the stairs at the same time as Brat of E-S-N. Not to mention he has a lovely stream of snot running down his face. So Brat smacks one kid, "Oh no no Brat, gentle hands." Brat smacks another kid, she rolls her eyes and says nothing. Brat smacks MY KID, "Oh Brat...". This is where I swoop in, and remove Phillip and say "Let's go play over here so you don't keep getting hit."

It never helps. Brat hit half the kids in the play area by the time we left, and he was never put in time out. Moms, let me share something with you: your children are never too young for time out (or your choice or removal). If they are displaying inappropriate behavior, it is your responsibility as a parent to provide them the lesson that such behavior will not be tolerated. Asking nicely in the same tone of voice you would use to ask if Suzie would like ice cream does nothing. This hitting, biting, ignoring, stomping, tantruming? It is their precious little way of saying "teach me boundaries, PLEASE".

So, I'm already amped up from Mrs. E-S-N and company. I'm on high alert. Ready for the next person who skipped Common Sense Class. What do you know, teenagers come barrelling through the parking lot as we are leaving. (*These are the ones I will speak up to, because they are in need of a daily smack upside the head to remind them that the world does not revolve around them.) Bopsy Twin and her two friends are riding along through the busy parking lot, all with Starbucks predictably in hand. BT does nothing to slow down as she sees us entering the parking lot (do I need to start wearing a shirt that says "Pedestrians Have the Right of Way!"?). She finally conceeds a California stop at the end of the lane and waits until we are halfway to the edge of the row of parked cars to pull out and turn to head up the next lane. I feel the wind swoosh as her bumper flies by.

Now, remember, it's windy (to the point of weather advisory), rainy and we have to pick Rose up from school. I don't have time to mess around with these twits. Well look at that, they've parked two cars away from me on the other side. I have already graced them with a loud "GROW UP!" but don't feel that was sufficient as their eyes were dead inside and the windows were up. So, I'm buckling Phillip in his car seat as they get out in their underwear sized shorts and Britney Spears makeup/hair do's. I'm digusted and decided to count to ten.

I sit in the driver's seat and decide to leave a note. Something snarky and bitchy isn't going to get through. Who knows, the guilt trip I left might not either, but someday they will understand:

That child's life is worth more than the five seconds you saved in finding a parking spot.
Someday you will value others more than your self.
Start Now.