Friday, September 26, 2008
One Step Further
Lunch Time at Qudoba. Think business guys and college student busy. I'm trying to order for R&P and myself. Trying to carry this tray off food and keep my eye on them and watch out for the wet floors and I'M STARVING. It's been a hectic morning.
Phillip plays this choking game he thinks is funny for some heart attack inducing reason. Rose eats better than I could have hoped. I am starting to feel better. And, there is a pile of used napkins the size of the pyramids on the table. Phillip has eaten his quesadilla bean by bean and chicken chunk at a time.
So, I'm cleaning up and R&P are dancing around, having a grand old time. I look down to see Phillip go to pick up a piece of food off the floor WITH HIS MOUTH. That's right folks, he basically just licked the floor in the middle of a fast food(ish) restaurant.
Do they have antibiotic strips like those breath freshener strips? I need a case, thanks.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Start Now
Rose was at school this windy, rainy morning, so Phillip and I made an unsurprising trip to the mall play area. These weatherful days are always unpredictable. The slides and such can either be teaming with little ones, or we could have the place all to ourselves. A handful of young ones were enjoying themselves so I let Phillip venture off on his own. Keeping an eye out for moments he may have needed me. But, for the most part, allowing him to socialize and learn how to associate with others his age. He is extremely well behaved and he rarely needs much guiding in his behavior. I play with him from time to time but he really does enjoy doing it "him felf".
In comes Mrs. Ask Ever-So-Nicely. I never get along with these type of Mothers. But, it isn't my place to parent someone else's young* child (except for Rose & Phillp, of course). So, I just sit and watch, and the second child's behavior affects "mine" I remove us from the situation. Today, Mrs. A E-S-N was the mother of a hitter. Ah, a good smack on the face for the sin of being on the stairs at the same time as Brat of E-S-N. Not to mention he has a lovely stream of snot running down his face. So Brat smacks one kid, "Oh no no Brat, gentle hands." Brat smacks another kid, she rolls her eyes and says nothing. Brat smacks MY KID, "Oh Brat...". This is where I swoop in, and remove Phillip and say "Let's go play over here so you don't keep getting hit."
It never helps. Brat hit half the kids in the play area by the time we left, and he was never put in time out. Moms, let me share something with you: your children are never too young for time out (or your choice or removal). If they are displaying inappropriate behavior, it is your responsibility as a parent to provide them the lesson that such behavior will not be tolerated. Asking nicely in the same tone of voice you would use to ask if Suzie would like ice cream does nothing. This hitting, biting, ignoring, stomping, tantruming? It is their precious little way of saying "teach me boundaries, PLEASE".
So, I'm already amped up from Mrs. E-S-N and company. I'm on high alert. Ready for the next person who skipped Common Sense Class. What do you know, teenagers come barrelling through the parking lot as we are leaving. (*These are the ones I will speak up to, because they are in need of a daily smack upside the head to remind them that the world does not revolve around them.) Bopsy Twin and her two friends are riding along through the busy parking lot, all with Starbucks predictably in hand. BT does nothing to slow down as she sees us entering the parking lot (do I need to start wearing a shirt that says "Pedestrians Have the Right of Way!"?). She finally conceeds a California stop at the end of the lane and waits until we are halfway to the edge of the row of parked cars to pull out and turn to head up the next lane. I feel the wind swoosh as her bumper flies by.
Now, remember, it's windy (to the point of weather advisory), rainy and we have to pick Rose up from school. I don't have time to mess around with these twits. Well look at that, they've parked two cars away from me on the other side. I have already graced them with a loud "GROW UP!" but don't feel that was sufficient as their eyes were dead inside and the windows were up. So, I'm buckling Phillip in his car seat as they get out in their underwear sized shorts and Britney Spears makeup/hair do's. I'm digusted and decided to count to ten.
I sit in the driver's seat and decide to leave a note. Something snarky and bitchy isn't going to get through. Who knows, the guilt trip I left might not either, but someday they will understand:
Someday you will value others more than your self.
Start Now.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Admission Number One
One of my weaknesses is that I'm not very good at one-on-one imaginative play. Rose is so far in to this princess phase that she can't see straight sometimes. She has a castle and sometimes commandeers her brother's castle for Extreme Princess Play. Several times a day, she will hand me a princess and ask me to pretend to be them or someone else in that particular movie.
Thankfully, she has low expectations, I really only have to stick to the movie script. Very rarely do I have to go off on a wild tangent and actually make up a story or scenario. We'd all be in big trouble because staying on script is hard enough, for me. I never had any Barbies growing up. In fact, I cried when I received one at a school gift swap in 3rd grade (or so). I had three brothers and we played outside ALL DAY LONG. Any pretending I did was that one of them was a girl.
Now that I care for a girl, ten hours a day, I'm a little out of my element. Not only do I associate with boys better, I have this limitation of not having the capacity to really play along like she wants. Oh, I do it. It's my job, she enjoys it and again, the low expectations. But it never lasts as long as she wants and my mind is screaming, inside, "THIS IS BORING!!!".
But, I am great at craft/art projects, we are outside as much as we possibly can, and I shower them with music. Rose's Dad is amazing at imaginative play so she really isn't being denied the opportunity for that important developmental process. We all have our gifts to give the children in our lives and I am grateful that though I have those weaknesses, I get to see Rose and Phillip blossom in the talents I have to share.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
BOOBS!
Rose is obsessed with boobs. "Boobies", as she calls them. Thankfully she, for the most part, keeps her hands to herself about them. But, she sure does talk about them a lot. It started when Phillip was born. She would watch her Mom nurse and pump, and her Mom would let her pretend to pump. Creepy to see, but normal, maybe? I don't know, everyone has different boundaries and ideas of what is appropriate for their children. So, Rose would nurse her baby dolls and talk about her boobies growing big like Mommy's someday.
Then, we landed firmly in Princess-ville. You wouldn't immediately think that the land of a thousand ball gowns would promote thoughts of mammary glands, but you forget that Barbie comes in a million variations these days. In this house, mainly princess variations. Ariel and Jasmine both wear bras, as Rose so pointedly informs you every time you dress them. And if nothing is anatomically correct on a Barbie, her boobs sure are expressive enough to provide questions.
Personally, I have more than my fair share and the term "over the shoulder boulder holder" wasn't just for Bette Midler to sing about in Beaches. You don't know me from Adam, so I'm not ashamed to admit that I take my bra off the minute the kids are down for their naps. I've now learned to put it back on before they wake up. Because one day, I carried it in to the bathroom to put it back on, and Rose asked me if she could watch. YIKES.
All in all, a lot better than a boy I nannied for in NJ. We were watching TV one day and he kept putting his hand on my chest. I'm not one for scaring kids in to body awareness so I would just move his hand away and say "That's not yours." After the third time of having to do this, I asked him why he kept doing it. The four year old said "I don't know, they're just so soft!" Watch out, he's gonna be a boob man, for sure.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
They Might Be Gigantic Tools
I’ve never been a fan of the stuff. It’s patronizing and generally irritating. “Baby Beluga”? Don’t get me started. There is no reason to stop you from introducing children to mainstream, adult oriented music. Oldies, Classical, Top 40, Rock, heck even marching band music are a hit around these parts.
In a past incarnation as a nanny while living in NJ, Kidz Bop was in regular rotation. It was a bit hard to stomach kid’s voices reciting “Hit Me Baby, One More Time”, but it was better than Sharon Lois & Bram. My little brother was obsessed with that trio. On the other hand, I was sometimes spared from the remakes and learned all the words to “Fins” and “Cheeseburger in Paradise” during the long drives around suburban
With Rose and Phillip, we started our journey together in music with They Might Be Giants. Their parents have a good collection of the group’s cds and while I had never heard their music before, it was entertaining. “John Lee Supertaster” and “The Edison Museum” are pretty catchy. Even as I sit here complaining and looking back at their stuff on iTunes, I am conflicted. Singing to myself, “violin, lin, lin”, “oh no, no, I never go to work”. (A personal favorite, if not a reminder of former office work days) I think the problem with TMBG, in particular is, now as I search their other non-kid stuff, I can only hear them singing to the five(ish) and under crowd.
Disney Soundtracks can kiss my ass. Oh, the horror. I made the mistake of pressing play on the Broadway Cast Recording of The Little Whore that rules my every living breathing….The Little Mermaid, ahem. Thank HEAVENS I got that from the library so I could pull the “it has to go back and NEVER return” shenanigans. They are blissfully ignorant of my ability to copy that tripe on to my computer. But what did I go and do the next day? I checked out Beauty and the bastards who sing about stupid shit, I mean Beauty and the Beast. Got smart and am holding on to that one until I REALLY need it.
Barenaked Ladies came along and offered to give me the best of both worlds. I’ve always loved their sense of humor and they have a song with the title of Favorite Snack Ever to Litter the Seats of My Car…”Raisins”. Yeah, um that’s the TITLE of the song, but they don’t mention the word once in the lyrics. What up with that, Ed? Rose didn’t care for BNL’s latest effort and the cd hit the bin just after “The Canadian Snacktime Trilogy”. Seems I’m not alone in feeling raisins got the shaft.
One “group” I will always and forever allow in my presence: Veggie Tales. I’m not religious and I’m not even sure if Rose and Phillip know about a Higher Power, but those guys are FUNNY, with a capital knee. During the NJ days, Chris used to crack up every time the captain crunch bit came on during “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything” and now when I hear it, I always think of him. I still say “
Let’s move on. I give Rose and Phillip mix cds, it’s the only way I can avoid the Peter, Paul and Mary that their dad has loaded in the six cd changer in the home stereo system. Thankfully, their parents ascribe to the same relative open minded music philosophy. Phillip is a big fan of the opening piano from “Love Song” by Sara Bareilles and Natalie has a long list of favorites: Tristan Prettyman’s “Madly”, Colbie Caillat’s “Bubbly” (she calls it Toes/Nose), Bushwalla’s “Creatures in the Yard”. Repetition does become a problem for me in the car, but only to keep them entertained and satisfied. Pick your battles.
There are times I want to add songs to a mix, because just as kid oriented music teaches a lesson, so can adult music. Madonna’s “What It Feels Like for a Girl” could be inspiring if it didn’t have themes Rose will not be able to grasp for a long time (yikes, that video is a bit harsh). For now we’ll stick with “Build Me Up Buttercup” by the Foundations, “It’s Oh So Quiet” by Bjork, “How Sweet It Is” by Marvin Gaye, “Give A Little Bit” by the Goo Goo Dolls and “All You Need Is Love” by Lynden David Hall (just to mention a few). Oh, and some “Body Movin’” by the Beastie Boys never hurt anyone.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Rainy Day
It's interesting how different two people growing up in the same house, can be. Rose is shy and hesitant to even play with girls her own age. (A MAJOR reason she is in preschool this year) She is much more comfortable around younger children (read, her brother) and it's like pulling teeth to get her to even introduce herself to someone SHE has said she wants to play with. Not Phillip, I hardly saw the kid the entire time we were at the play area in the mall. He is independent and outgoing. I even saw him saying "Hi! HI! HIIIII!!!!" to another child.
Phillip is one of the cuddliest kids in the world. Every once in a while he would stop what he was doing, run over and yell "NINNNNNAAAAA" and just sit on my lap saying "huggy, huggy". Wrap it up, I'll take it!!!
Observations:
- Moms, stop hovering. Your kid is never going to learn to play on his own and socialize if you follow him all over the play area. Teach him to play independently, it is good for you and GREAT for him.
- The Dads that bring their kids to the mall? Some of the most interactive men I've ever seen in my life. There are the Fathers that pat their kids on the head and say "that's nice" and there are the Dads that bring their kids to the play area at the mall and play hide and seek.
- I can spot a fellow nanny a mile away. Some of them make it easier than others. Take the nanny sitting OUTSIDE of the play area working ON HER LAPTOP having a snack from the food court. Meanwhile, her charges are beating the living crap out of each other and neither of them is older than three years old.
- I will say this until it stops: there is a height/age limit to the play area for a reason. Because your big husky eight year old will crush my small petite three year old while running through the play area. Let's think tractor trailer hitting prius here, people. Next time, I'm calling you out in front of God and every shopper at the mall.
- The play area is not a babysitter. Do not drop your kids off and go shopping. I'm not watching your kid, I'm watching the ones I'm paid to take care of. Something happens to yours? I'll help but, I'll also help myself to calling social services.
I take my job VERY seriously, as you can tell. Wouldn't you want the person caring for your children to do the same?
